Dating and Debt

About 5 years ago, I went to a dating seminar for advice on how to fix my, in hindsight, un-fixable relationship #supportingselfimprovement.  While I don’t remember the majority of what was discussed, I did walk away with one question that stuck with me.

“Are you the person the person you’re looking for is looking for?”

This question was the entire premise behind Andy Stanley’s presentation and it wasn’t until two years after this seminar that it really affected my life.  That aforementioned relationship had ended terribly and I spent those years focused on finishing college, traveling the world, and excelling in my career.  When I sat down at the end of my relationship sabbatical, this question popped into my head again.  I spent all of this time focused on a specific point of self-improvement, but had I focused on the parts that could affect a partner?

To begin this new form of self-improvement, I thought of all the things that failed in my previous relationship.  A lot of those things had nothing to do with me, but one definitely did.  Money.

According to, money is the second most common reason for divorce.  Different spending habits, financial power struggles, lack of financial planning, all play a huge factor in whether a couple stays together for the long haul.  It definitely played a factor in mine, because my ex and I could never agree on spending habits or savings plans, and we fought about it constantly.

So the person I’m looking for would have good credit history, have a substantial savings and retirement plan, and have reasonable spending habits.  I can’t expect to find this type of person if I’m the exact opposite so I had some work to do.  Here are the 3 steps I followed to find my perfect guy.

  1. Find others like me. While I didn’t have this blog at the time, I followed others like and, and they were great sources of motivation for me.  I spent my time listening to podcasts focused on saving money and improving spending.  This kept me motivated every day and I made conscious spending choices.
  2. Decrease Spending. If you’re a follower of this blog, than you know that I started by breaking up with my barista, but there were so many other breakups I went through.  Find the things that aren’t necessities and decide what is worth letting go in order to have the financial freedom you are hoping for.
  3. Clean up my Credit. I think I write this in all of my blogs because it really is so important! People just don’t realize the effects your credit report can have.  I took the money I was spending on shoes and coffee and put it towards bills and student loans.  When bills and medical debts were paid off, I was able to start filtering money into my savings account.

Once these 3 things were done, I felt like I finally had the right to be picky about the person I wanted to date.  I’m a believer in the law of attraction, what you put out in the world is what you get back.  It took me less than 48 hours on a dating site to find the person who had all of the things I was looking for.  Even though he says he would have loved me in debt or debt-free, I truly think his attraction came from my new and improved attitude toward life and money.

Are you ready to start your journey to financial freedom?  Keep reading as we post tips and tricks and personal experiences all year long to help you do just that.  Also, you’ll know this relationship went south too if next year I write a blog called “Divorce and Debt,” so here’s to hoping that doesn’t happen!

2019-02-18T14:21:10+00:00February 14th, 2019|ABC's of Financial Freedom, Tips and Tricks|